12. Is the faith an illusion? Auto suggestion?

The promise exceeds our thirst and our desire, and goes far beyond our capacity to hope. That is why those who ingenuously claim that we have invented it all to reassure ourselves, have no idea of the compliment they are paying us! Invent it all? If only we could! It is so far beyond our imaginings! One day a friend asked me if it ever crossed my mind that my faith might be just auto suggestion? Somewhat perplexed, and wishing to give him an honest answer I replied: if we invented it, then we are geniuses! But we know very well that we are not.

As for reassuring us in face of death, Socrates and Plato, much older and less tragic, did that well. Those who claim that Christ's Resurrection is an answer to our questionings, do not know what they are talking about! If they only knew what a cool breeze the empty tomb wafts into our closed in lives, and into what abyss of mystery and complexity we are immersed!

It is so rich in meaning, so concrete and radical, that in the domain of faith, the best image to portray it is that of a birth, the coming to life, the decisive entry into a very new world with all that this implies of sudden change, of separation, of dazzling light and even of suffocation.

When the child in the womb, still unsuspecting and comfortable in the embryonic fluid and in darkness, suddenly finds itself in distress and cries its anguish when the first breath of air opens up its lungs, so we too are afraid to take those deep breaths of evangelical oxygen, and to open new eyes, when the love that embraces us is too personal and too overwhelming. Yes, there is a whole programme for us to learn and everything to be discovered.

For the life in question here, is that concret existence which manifests itself in Jesus Christ, so insupportable to His contemporaries, that they did everything in their power to ensnare it, to strangle it, to kill it in the shell.

What formula can encompass indifference and death those mortal enemies! The passion for life, the life of passion, that intense desire to enliven and to provoke, to share and to share again that longing for reciprocity in friendship; that infinite power of freedom and of creation, the irrepressible delicacy and respect for the other no dogma has ever encompassed all that!

No abstract terms can ever do it justice! It can only be apprehended by allowing oneself to touch to understand it, one must yield and allow the self to be consumed. To experience it fully, it will be necessary to plunge one's entire being into the mystery! Experience alone allows us to share in giving birth to the Risen One.

Experience alone permits us to discover the Father of all life, who inspires such a Son and justifies Him. Only the vital risk of articulated prayer, active presence among the poor, the sick, those in prison; only active charity which opens our eyes; in short, only the carrying out of our Baptismal promises, allows us to verify the living strength of love which conquers all. To understand, to enter into life, to know what it is all about we must make the effort!

As a child taking his first steps, and discovering at the same time what it is to walk, the muscles in his legs and the balancing of his body, the Gospel obliges me to live upright and in solidarity with others in joy, generous poverty, and true liberty. I have to try doing so, and after a while I am surprised that I could have for so long remained in the shade and without that spring in my step.

Christ's victory over death and the absurd, throws forever into confusion the criteria of our choices. The vital road is not opened to us by continual success nor by top class results. It opens in the middle of some crisis, at our blackest moments, in the depths of the tomb. For it is out of an absolute impasse that the living God frees His Son, so that He may become the First born of a new creation.

It is because He ceaselessly manifested God's solidarity with the poor, the ignorant, those excluded from society, that Christ was rejected. And it is because He has known absolute despair, that we know now, that there is nothing ever that can escape God's love, nothing that cannot be forgiven, no ill that cannot be reversed, no just cause that is doomed to failure.

Thus, from the deepest recesses of the abyss, Christ's victory over the forces of nothingness, are communicated to all. It did not take place as might have done a performance in a theatre or on the screen. Nor did it limit itself to one place or to one particular time. Its object was not to be seen or even to be recorded. Its aim was to be lived, and everywhere and at every moment to be experienced. It communicates itself as does a breath or a movement of the Spirit. The entire universe is carried along on this tidal wave, into which we must plunge with every fibre of our being.

For the living God whom we meet in Jesus Christ, is not looking for an audience to applaud, nor supporters on the steps outside. He seeks co creators, associates for freedom. His victory is for us! He is looking for friends, partners, co workers. He wishes to be known intimately, so that He can share the very experience which gives Him life, the Breath which is His own.